Recently, I was lucky enough to be invited to speak on a panel of women discussing film and television writing. As you know, most of my writing is basically boob and penis jokes, so what the hell do I know. However, when I have written larger, longer-form things, things that require a story, here are three resources that are basically years of education in a few easy nuggets. That’s what I think, anyway. I haven’t really had years of education. I recommended them to the kind people who came to the panel and I am recommending them to you now. I think they might be useful to you when you are ready to tell your big story. (And yes, that story should of course include boob and penis jokes. You want people to read it, right?)
Still keeping Joan in my heart and in my every thought. Looking through old stuff and found this transcript of an interview I’d done with her for a magazine a few years back. I had already cut out a lot of the personal chit chat, which I’m kicking myself for now, because I’d love to still have that. Anyway, this is more than what made it into the magazine, so spoiler alert…longest Facebook post ever. Further spoiler alert, I am not the best interviewer, but I had a great subject. Reading this again made me smile.
************************************************************************************** I met Joan Rivers when I wrote for a pilot she hosted. Well, I didn’t meet her, at first. I submitted to be considered in a blind hiring process. According to the producers, she said, “I want this guy” about my sample, and expressed doubt when they said, “Okay, but she’s not a guy.” When we finally did meet, she apologized. “I’m sorry I thought you were a man. But you write like you don’t know you’re a girl, either. Don’t ever become self-conscious and ladylike. It’ll ruin everything!” In that minute, Joan became an even more important figure in my life than she’d been before. Spoiler alert: I’m no journalist. I can’t promise to be tough or even fair. I love this woman.
CS: I’ve written for lots of people and you are so…respectful!
JR: Because I get it. If a comedy writer gives you twelve lines and two are wonderful, you’re talking to an incredibly talented person. That deserves respect.
CS: You started as a writer.
JR: I wrote for Phyllis Diller. The first joke she bought from me was, “If God wanted me to cook he would have given me aluminum hands”. Remember, this was the early sixties.
CS: Phyllis Diller!
JR: She was so generous. I was in a club called the Bon Soir. She came in and I sucked. I was doing, like, a comedy monologue to music. (laughs) It was awful, but she laughed louder than anybody. With that cackle! She led the laughter and that’s an extraordinarily kind thing to do. I’m still learning from her!
CS: You keep in touch?
JR: She’s amazing. In her nineties. I go over and have lunch with her because she doesn’t get out much, but her mind is still there, boy. Snap, snap, snap!
CS: Who else did you write for?
JR: Bob Newhart, in ’64, ’65. He was big. Then I wrote for Candid Camera, which wasn’t real writing, and when I made it on Carson and gave my notice, Alan Funt said, “You’ll be sorry, Jill!”
CS: Johnny Carson. You sick of talking about him yet? Because I’m not. For twenty years you were his protégé. Then you got your own show on Fox and he never spoke to you again.
JR: Even now, I don’t get it. He had everything. You forget that people in this business are killers. You have to be to get where you get, and Johnny could be a killer too. I stepped into what he felt was his territory and he wasn’t gonna forget it.
CS: What hurt the most?
JR: He should have been proud! I look around and I’m so proud. I see Garry Shandling, and Billy Crystal and I feel like they’re my graduates! I’m thrilled I knew them when! Even Lady GaGa, who was on the bill with me back when she was still whatever her stupid real name is. I thought she was great and I’m ecstatic for her now.
CS: According to Carson, he was angry because you never told him. According to you, you did.
JR: He lied. Totally. I called. He hung up on me. I called again. He hung up again. Thank God other people were in the room. I guess he felt he had to say that because it made me bad. But what I really didn’t get is that after I lost the show, and (my husband) Edgar committed suicide…nothing. Johnny introduced me to Edgar. They were friends. I thought, “What more would have to happen?” Then you realize what a miserable guy he could be. And I know people loved him, but I’m fine with saying this in print. He could be a miserable character.
CS: But in your voice, I hear what sounds like forgiveness…
JR: He was hurt. He really thought I owed him something that was never made clear to me. I don’t know what. But I can’t hold grudges. I am so fucking lucky! My life is a wonderful life! I’m up! I’m down. Up again! I’m like a bouncing ball and I have nothing to be angry about. But I can’t regret decisions, either. Even after twenty years with Johnny, it’s not like they were going to give me The Tonight Show. I did what I had to do. If I’d stayed, I’d be like Doc Severinsen. He’s still alive, y’know! I know it sounds corny, but things really do work out for the best.
CS: Be corny. You’ve earned it.
JR: After Edgar, I wasn’t sure I even wanted to survive, but I had no choice, because I had my daughter. If I’d been alone, it would have been a very different story. But knowing me, I’d have collected the wrong pills, tried to overdose on Vitamin C and not only lived, but become really healthy in the process. I would’ve written a dramatic note, taken 75 vitamin C chewables and woke up bright yellow!
CS: That extremely low point must put everything else in your life in perspective…
JR: (LAUGHS) You’d think so, but not necessarily! All this crap I’ve gone through taught me: move forward. They didn’t pick up your option? Fuck ‘em. They passed on your pitch? Fuck ‘em. I’m like a foul-mouthed second grader. My whole life is, “Well, I’ll show them!” I try not to dwell on things. Like that crybaby Joan Didion. God, we get it. Can’t you look on the bright side? You’re thin!
CS: I want to talk about the 2010 documentary, A Piece of Work.
JR: It’s making me very sad because the response is slowing down. It was so great when it first came out. Incredible! People were calling me up, telling me how wonderful it was!
CS: Like who?
JR: Diane Keaton!
CS: Diane Keaton? I thought she hated you!
JR: I thought so too!
CS: But you talked?
JR: No, I missed the call. But she left a nice message. Other people too. I didn’t just miss Diane Keaton’s call. I had voicemails from people. Too many to name. Okay, Dustin Hoffman…
CS: But despite the buzz, the documentary wasn’t nominated for an Oscar. Was that annoyingly poetic?
JR: Yes, because it goes back to the point of the film. I’m the one under the radar. The one that’s not recognized in that way…that official way that says the industry appreciates me or approves of me. I’m used to it. It’s not even that it wasn’t nominated. It’s that there were fifteen nominees and it wasn’t nominated. Who knew fifteen documentaries even came out that year? I can say this because I didn’t make the film. The girls that did it, Ricki Stern and Anne Sundberg, are brilliant.
CS: In the film, you talk about becoming a comedian to finance your acting career. When did you decide you were a more of a comedian than an actor?
JR: There was never a decision. It was: go through any door that opens. So, if the comedy was coming, I moved with the comedy. But standup IS acting! How do you think a comedian says the same thing 300 times and makes it look like he just thought of it?
CS: The doc follows you as you perform a one-woman show you were hoping to bring to Broadway. In Edinburgh, you brought the house down. You got a rare standing O in London. Then the reviews came in…
JR: Out of 100, maybe 66 were great, but 33 were tepid. I didn’t want to bring it to New York and have that happen here. The reviews aren’t important to me, but they’re what determines whether something lasts or not. I didn’t want to risk going through the heartbreak I had with Sally Marr.
CS: Sally Marr and Her Escorts is a show you co-wrote and starred in on Broadway in 1994. You got a Tony nomination! What was the downside?
JR: It was my favorite thing in the whole world, this play about Lenny Bruce’s mother. She was also a comedian. And we got great reviews, but people just didn’t come. And it broke my heart…
CS: Over the years, there’s been talk of a revival.
JR: I would kill to do a revival. Kill. But I think Lenny Bruce might be totally forgotten. The show is about his mother and how she made him who he was. Sally Marr was the most amazing, emancipated, brilliant woman and it’s devastating, but my instinct is that the timing is wrong, because you mention Lenny’s name and people just stare at you. It’s a shame, but time goes on. My mother would talk about Clara Bow and I’d roll my eyes. Now I talk about Lenny, and my grandson’s like, “Ach, here she goes about Lenny Bruce again!”
CS: Joan…did you have a crush on Lenny Bruce?
JR: Yes! He was so sexy! Men adored him because he was brilliant and funny and women adored him because he was brilliant and funny and so sexy. He was the whole package. I didn’t know him, but I was in a club called The Bitter End and he came to see me. Of course, I was bombing that night, but he sent me a note saying, “You’re right and they’re wrong. Love, Lenny Bruce.” I carried it around in my brassiere for two years until it disintegrated.
CS: Natural follow-up: Why did you never get it on with Lenny Bruce?!!
JR: Because! You know what I looked like! Nobody ever made a pass at me. Those stories about women getting chased around the casting couch? Never happened to me. But I still think about him. Without Lenny, there wouldn’t have been a Woody or a George Carlin. My generation was totally influenced by him. The next generation was influenced by Richard Pryor, and I’m worried nobody gives a shit about him anymore either.
CS: Those guys were so subversive. What do you think of the trouble comedians have been getting into lately for controversial material?
JR: Comedy is outrageousness. Comedy is political incorrectness. If that’s not your thing, avoid comedy.
A comedian should say any damn thing and never apologize. Never! And it’s an audience member’s right to walk into a club, and it’s their right to turn back around and leave. But that’s where it ends. I’m not saying that joke Tracy Morgan got into trouble for was a good one. It wasn’t. I’m just defending his right to make a bad joke. The only thing he should apologize for is making people pay eighty bucks to see him.
I get heat too and I wonder, “What did you think you were gonna hear from me after 46 years?” For every person that’s offended, there’s at least one other laughing his ass off. My comedy is funny to me. So, I can’t apologize for the way someone has interpreted it. That’s on them.
CS: What about people who complain you’re a bully?
JR: I pick on people making 25 million dollars a movie. Never picked on a person who couldn’t answer back. Never picked on a civilian in the audience. If I say, “Gee, Nicole Kidman might not be the brightest bulb,” I don’t think she’s up all night sobbing about it, assuming she can sob. We’re all fair game. Whether you’re an actor or a comedian or a singer, you’ve asked people to look at you. Well, I’m looking. And I’m saying what I think. I’m fair game too and God knows I get it. I think people who focus on that part of my comedy are missing the point, and it’s usually people who’ve seen me on the red carpet but never my act on stage.
CS: On stage, you’re tougher on yourself than anyone…
JR: I am always the idiot. I always was. It was never my husband who was an idiot. I do jokes about my daughter Melissa, and if you listen, they’re not critical of her. I’m the idiot.
CS: And in real life, you’re one of the most soft-hearted people I know…
JR: I am! But when you’re with your friends, you sit around and say funny things about what so-and-so is wearing somewhere. Everybody does! “Look at how short that dress is! You can tell she has an IUD!” Fashion Police came out of that.
CS: And you really do love fashion.
JR: I love fashion, but don’t take it seriously. It’s fun, and you should try everything and fuck what Joan or anybody else says. Put on nineteen necklaces! Enjoy yourself!
CS: Nineteen necklaces? Where would I get nineteen necklaces? QVC?
JR: (Laughs) I do QVC for love, but, God bless it, it’s also supported me. As a comedian, financially, I might have one great year, one bad. You just don’t know. And you can’t get more fun than designing jewelry.
CS: Maybe you should sell your paintings! Do people know you’re an artist?
JR: Yeah, well…that’s embarrassing. Next! I’m not a good painter, but I enjoy it. Give me four primary colors, I’ll give you a bad painting.
CS: I’m still waiting for mine!
JR: Okay. Trust me, you’ll be saying, “She’s coming to the house! We have to find that fucking painting and put it up!”
CS: What else do you do for fun?
JR: Hang out with Barbara Walters, or Baba, as I call her behind her back. We were competitive as younger women, not in the same field, but adjacent fields. And she won every time! I’m interviewing Jerry Lewis and she’s interviewing Sadat. My dad was a doctor, but Babs’ dad was loaded! But she also had a sister who was mentally disabled, and you know, different things shape us. We’re friendly now. Sometimes, which is hilarious, Cindy Adams, Barbara Walters and I go to dinner, just the three of us. We make a pact; whatever we say never leaves the table. People must wonder what we’re talking about. The answer is everybody! Of course, gossip at our age is, like, which of our friends is about to die. My other girlfriend is Judge Judy. I love Judge Judy! She’s funny and she gets how good life is. She wears her little robe to lunch and never spills soup on her lacy collar.
CS: Do you think people will ever get tired of ripping on your plastic surgery?
JR: It’s gotten less the more people get plastic surgery. I’m not the freak anymore. I wasn’t a pioneer, by the way. Look at a picture of Bea Arthur from Maude and a picture of Bea from The Golden Girls. Where’s her old face? Gone! I love when Raquel Welch would say, “I just get a lot of sleep.” Yeah, under anesthesia. Everybody did it, I just admitted it. How could I not? Now, with reality shows it’s clear people are having work done. Then producers are like, “Your facelift would make a great episode!” Everybody’s owning up to it.
CS: Your reality show Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best was picked up for a second season on WeTV. Yay! But does it bother you that scripted entertainment is being overtaken by reality?
JR: Does it bother me that bookstores are closing and you can get whatever you want to read zapped to your Kindle or iPad? Maybe, in some ways. But it is what it is. And I love my show and I’m happy for the opportunity to be on TV. Adapt or die!
CS: What a modern attitude! You’ve embraced Twitter too.
JR: Someone’s gonna take your picture and tweet it, so you might as well get on the bandwagon and enjoy it. I do get sad that there isn’t any mystery left to any of us. Ain’t no great movie stars anymore! Think about it. The only great movie stars were the ones you didn’t know a damn thing about. Today, the closest we have is Angelina and Brad. They’re private. They’re not running around asking to be in magazines. They’re in those magazines against their will, which is how it was meant to be! That’s what makes a star.
CS: What makes an icon? Because that’s what people call you now.
JR: Yeah, it happened about a year ago! (laughs) The word icon means nothing. When I went to England, people said, “You’re so brilliant! Brilliant!” I started to believe it. Turns out, they call everything brilliant. They tell the cleaning lady, “The way you did the bathroom today was brilliant!” Everyone’s brilliant there, an icon here. I don’t put a lot of stock in it, but I like it better than what they called me before, which was “old”. It’s been good for my career. It’s no longer “She’s too old, we can’t use her.” It’s, “She’s kind of an icon. Can we get her?” Great marketing tool!
CS: Same with legend, right? Does it bug you when they call you legendary female comedian, instead of just legendary comedian?
JR: Not me so much, but I’m doing something for Lucille Ball’s 100th birthday and every reporter says, “She was one of the great comediennes.” I say, “She’s up there with W.C. Fields. With Buster Keaton!” Watch her. She was genius. As good as Chaplin ever was. And she was the brains. Desi was having a good time, and Lucy was the brains. Comedienne? No. Comedian. Period.
CS: You and I did a pilot and at the wrap you said, “May we all work together for seven years until I die!” It wasn’t picked up, but that was five years ago! Still planning to die in two years?
JR: No. It starts fresh. When a new show starts, I get seven more years.
CS: Whew? So you’re here at least until you’re 86. Anything you want to do before then?
JR: I’d KILL to do another talk show. Something late, late, late. Because you could do whatever you wanted! And if people can’t stay up, fine. We have TiVo, now! And I’m dying to write another movie.
CS: The last one you wrote was in ’78?
JR: Rabbit Test, 1978. And thanks to the internet, someone found out about it and watched it, so it recently got its first review! At the time it was outrageous - Billy Crystal pregnant! But now it’s gotten a review 33 years later, who knows? Maybe there’ll be a whisper campaign!
CS: I hope you never die, but if you do, any secret diaries you need me to find and have published?
JR: No! I need to get all this stuff I can’t say while I’m alive written down before I start to lose my mind. Or do I wait until I lose my mind and then just make shit up? What’s anybody gonna do? I’ll be dead!
Hey, do you still watch #Glee? They do clever songs sometimes, right? Well, last night they aired a very clever banjo-y cover of Sir Mix-Alot’s “Baby Got Back” that people seemed to love. The only problem is, the arrangement they used (and possibly the actual recorded track) was created several years ago by my pal, Jonathan Coulton.
Legally, Jonathan is probably in a tricky position. Is there Intellectual Property precedent sufficient for him to recoup compensation on his original arrangement of a cover tune that he properly licensed in the first place? Would it even be worthwhile for a small, independent musician to pursue legal action against a huge company like Fox that keeps a lawyer in every office for their executives to hang their coats and hats on until something like this comes up? Does the fact that it’s tricky and sticky make what was done to Jonathan okay?
As a person who tries to make a living working in TV, it’s probably not even that smart for me to be piping up about this. I’m sure I’ll be put on some “Do Not Ever Hire These Bigmouths” list. But what’s right is right, and just because something might possibly be “technically sort of legal if you squint” doesn’t mean that it was okay. The show that postures itself as sticking up for underdogs and music geeks and telling kids that if they are daring and original it will pay off, is actually being a cartoon-style bully.
It would have been no skin off Glee’s nose to either notify/ask permission or even handsomely compensate Jonathan for his hard work, perhaps by giving him a cut of their staff “musical arrangement” guy’s salary for that week and a portion of the proceeds from the downloads of the singles Glee is selling on iTunes of “their” version.
Speaking of the two versions, here they are, mashed-up, alternating not every few measures, but beat by beat. Maybe the reason Glee hasn’t said anything is that it would be impossible to defend or deny. http://musicmachinery.com/2013/01/25/joco-vs-glee/
I posted this to my Facebook account a few days ago & I’m posting it here too, in case anyone who subscribes to this Tumblr, but isn’t my friend on Facebook, is interested. You’re missing some good comments from the original post, but that’s the price you pay for not wanting to know when I get in a fight with a friend from High School about gun control! Probably worth it. I certainly could have written and edited this better, but my heart is true. I’m a pal and a confidante.
A young twitter comedian friend moved from his home town to NYC to work as a comedian and TV writer, he hopes. He asked for my advice. I’m posting it here because maybe some of you will have had a different experience than I, or you’ll think of something I forgot to mention. If so, weigh in and he’ll see it here.
Dear xxxxx,
Congrats on making a move to further your career.
I can only speak to my experience (which at this point, is kind of dated) and what I see people your age/in your position doing now. Take everything with a grain of salt, because you will certainly have to follow your own path which is equal parts the choices you make and random luck, probably.
New York is a fun city, but it ain’t easy making it as a writer here, simply because there are far fewer shows to be staffed on. It’s evened up a bit if what you want to do is late night/comedy/variety (Letterman, Fallon, Stewart, Colbert, SNL, plus some smaller cablers here and there) but if you want to ever write sitcoms, films, etc. it’s a very small pool* and it’s about to get smaller with the loss of 30 Rock. That means there are many fewer shows to ever even get a starting position on to work your way up, but maybe you can if you work hard and catch a break. Who knows? As for working on SNL, why not you? Why not shoot for that and if you end up working on some cable trifle for 13 weeks on your way, great. Don’t minimize what you allow yourself to want before you even start pursuing it in earnest. You know what I’m saying? Because if you’re like, “All I want is to get started on some humble little show doing a not important job, etc. etc.” that might be the best you ever do. No boss has ever been like, “Young man, what is your name? You are so gentle, you are going straight to the top!” Work hard. Be good. Go big. Don’t go home. (That being said, if you manage to land a not important job on some humble little show, treat it like it is an important job on a big deal network show. Not by taking it too seriously. Not by being an officious dick. By being reliable. Honest. Responsible. Enthusiastic and willing. I leave out “eager” and “ambitious” because I think people often misunderstand those two words. You’re trying to learn a trade. People will be much more willing to share what they know with you if they don’t feel like you’ll push them under a cab the first chance you get. It’s a delicate balance.)
Yes, get involved with a local performance place as soon as you can. Form your group of peers at UCB or wherever you decide to put down roots. In 5, 10, 15 years, this will be the new class of folks making it “in the business” and you want to be there to learn together with these future geniuses and try to become one yourself. I actually think it’s pretty important. Do it before you have many responsibilities, when your evenings are free and your social life is yours. I’ve known many people who regret not having done it, and I know nobody who wishes they could go back and erase it. So, yes, take a class. I know they’re expensive. Tell all of your relatives that this is what you want for Christmas/birthdays from here on in. Eat rice and beans and put the food money you save aside. I imagine almost everyone at UCB has terrible gas from eating so much rice and beans in order to afford those classes, and I think it’s worth it. I don’t know if it actually IS, because I never did it, but I do so wish I had, and now it is TOO LATE FOR ME! Heed my warning.
Doing temp jobs is good. You have to buy those rice/beans. But I’d try to avoid doing anything outside the realm of TV production if you can. TV production, by it’s nature, is temporary, so there are a lot of gigs you can take that will at least get you near a TV show so you can see how the mechanics of different things work (comedy/reality/game show/infomercial/talk show, blah, blah, blah). Check Mandy.com and other similar TV job listing sites looking for PA gigs. Once you do a few, and you’ve done your best, with luck, people will know you as a reliable fella and start to call you for other things they have coming up and your work will become more steady. HERE’S WHERE IT GETS TRICKY, SON! You will probably get many calls asking you to be a PA on lots of shows that are far afield from the type of show and type of work that you think you want to do. If you’re starving, you will sort of have to do it, sure. But if you are in a position to choose not to do something that will ultimately distract you from the path that you know is your destiny, consider very carefully. I know approximately 2,700 people who work somewhere within the machinery of TV, analyzing ratings or finessing budgets, who started out just like you’re starting out, to be a comedic god. 108 of those people are happy. 2,592 of those people are like, “I don’t know what happened.” I think I do. They got distracted by other things. They traded security for satisfaction, which sometimes happens and it’s sad. Or sometimes it happens because someone’s met someone and settled down and had a family which requires as much security as you can marshall, and that’s okay, because you’ve let one type of satisfaction go in favor of another type of satisfaction that is now more important to you. (Those are the happy 108!)
You will need an agent or lawyer, down the line, if you plan to submit writing packets to legit network shows or some of the bigger cable shows, which again, I encourage you to shoot for. There is this whole underbelly (I’m being kind of dramatic, here) of non-Union shows that employ non-Union writers at non-Union wages without Union benefits that people bust their balls on just as much as any of the people who work on the biggest deal shows you watch. They’re pros, they work long hours and they make a lot of money for their networks without much fanfare. There’s a lot of that in New York. Some of those jobs you probably could get without representation. Some of them, you still might need a rep to negotiate on your behalf, even if it’s a job you sought out and landed yourself. I don’t have a ton of experience with agents, but I can tell you that I wish I had been more persistent in being represented by someone throughout my entire career. I got my first staff writing job when I was 23, without an agent, because it was a show that I already worked on, and I had some freelance joke writing experience on some other shows. Because I hadn’t gotten the job through an agent, I went for years without one. Then it became a bad habit, and I found myself kind of hopelessly thin-skinned when it came to dealing with agents who were not interested in representing me or I felt grossed out by the couple that did want to represent me. That may be because of my own complex psychological issues with people, or it may be because it’s just true. Agents are a necessary evil, I think, at some point. The good news is, I feel like many agents think that clients are a necessary evil for them, so get used to being schmoozy and pesty when you must.
Know this: I truly believe that your dedication and talent will take you where you are meant to be. That sounds more new-agey than I intend it to. Let me explain. What I mean is, eventually, I believe almost everyone gets near a place that is appropriate to an average of his or her dedication/talent. You might be off-the-charts talent wise, but have zero dedication, and it would probably wind you up somewhere middle-of-the-road. You might have a modicum of talent with a buttload of dedication and wind up somewhere more impressive than you imagined. You might be bursting with talent AND dedication that simply does not resonate with television network executives no matter how hard you try, so in frustration, you go off and create your own thing and you do it on stage for a smaller loyal audience who, when they come to see it, know it is the best thing they have ever witnessed and they will remember it forever, even if the world does not. There is great value in that, even if it’s not the original vision. The trick is knowing yourself and embracing what you can do and not limiting what you dream of and not feeling hurt when you fall far short. Because there will always be another thing. Nothing can ever be your only thing you ever try or do, or the last thing you will try or do. Unless you decide that. These are all things that I’m just starting to think about now, after 19 years of doing this, in my extremely late thirties and I’m so barely-forty-you-can-hardly-call-me-forty forties. It might be too soon to talk to you about these things, but I’m planting a seed! In your mind! What I’m trying to say is that your career will be like a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure book, which you are probably too young to remember, but that’s your fault for being young. The difference between your career and the books, though, is that making one or two “wrong” choices probably won’t end the fun like it could in the book, it’ll just be a swerve in the path and if that swerve is bad enough, it will provide fodder for your comedy, and you’ll do what you have to to get back on track. It is my sincere belief that very few talented comedy writers get stuck being an associate producer on Maury Povich, where they pass away after 22 years of service.
This IS new agey, though! There is only love and fear. They are the only two reasons any of us ever does anything. EVER. Always try to do something because you are motivated by love. Always try to avoid doing anything where fear is motivating you. By the same token, if fear is stopping you from doing anything, don’t let it. I don’t know what to do if love is stopping you from doing something. I really don’t. Maybe don’t do it? Or maybe love never tries that shit because it’s love? If I figure it out, I will let you know.
I hope this helps.
*It is not easy to get one of these jobs in LA, either. They do not grow on trees! If you stick with this, you will know many, many people who do get these jobs and sometimes you will wonder, “How did THAT happen to THAT person?” The answer is usually that the person is very talented and worked very hard to make it happen, being disciplined and making smart choices in ways you might not have even been aware of. In some cases, that will not be true at all and you will have been right to wonder. Know that for every person you hear of getting one of these amazing jobs, there are probably at least five people, just as talented and disciplined who tried and didn’t get that job. There are a lot of crazy talented people out there trying to do this thing! If you pick out what you think is THE ABSOLUTE WORST show on television, you can be assured that at least some of the people who work on it are crazy talented, despite the show they work on being terrible, in your opinion. There’s a lesson in there, I’m sure. I’ll let you figure it out because I talk too much.
That last map I posted contained a bit of blue, a good deal of purple and lots of red. On the face of it, like most basic electoral maps, it probably looks like Mitt Romney should be the President-elect right now. However, this is the same
red/blue/purple county map (cartogram, actually) that is now altered to reflect how populous the areas that voted for Barack Obama are. Again, many more people living in much smaller physical areas are what enabled PBO to win both the Electoral College by 332 votes to 206 votes. It is also why President Obama won the popular vote by over 3 million votes (give or take a handful - Florida, we’ve got to come up with a way for you to count faster down there!) It is this map, I think, that most accurately shows the direction our country is headed, and what the people want. It almost looks like a living thing. Beautiful blue outer shell with purple muscles and streaks of red going through it like veins. This country looks alive and healthy to me. (Part 7 of 7)
Here’s the map that I think is really interesting. Obviously, not everyone within a county within a state votes the same way. Just look at the election signs up and down your street! Just remember the last political discussion you had with
your parents at the dinner table! This map indicates how people voted individually in every county with shade. More than 70% Republican is solid red. More than 70% Democratic is solidly blue. Anything in between is a shade of purple, depending on the mix. Again, this does not account for the density of the population in a particular area, but it’s pretty. (Part 6 of 7)